What matters most in a world that says it doesn't matter?

Claiming our 𝖥𝖴𝖫𝖫 𝖧𝖴𝖬𝖠𝖭𝖨𝖳𝖸 and personal freedom is an incredibly radical and challenging act under the structures of conditioning we grow up in. And I see a variety of approaches within the collective, 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, who deeply desire to create change. The complexity of unpacking our conditioning can feel overwhelming, because challenging what has become ‘normal’ is vulnerable, scary, unsafe for an instinctually social mammal. It is also complex.

When we feel vulnerable, often the feelings connected to where we have been failed-oppressed, attacked, told that elements of our humanity are wrong or have no worth

- they slip under the surface of our actions.

These feelings are valid-

the anger, paralysing fear, the deep grief and sorrow, they are so wholeheartedly justified.

You may or may not be in a position to confront these feelings. If you are, and I challenge those of us who have more privileged than others, to see if you have some stretch- to ask yourself

where are your actions and reactions are coming from? How does my condition inform me?

So often when we work towards dismantling the intricate web 🕸of colonialism ♛, capitalism 💵, patriarchy ♂️that has conditioned us all- Our justified feelings rise up and in a flurry of feeling- we revert back to our imperialist conditioning and wish to ‘conquer’ and ‘fight back’.

We continue to inflict the same weapon used against us. Dehumanisation. We lose our capacity to connect, we try desperately to oppress the oppressor.

I struggle immensely when the person in front of me is the face of a system that causes immense pain and violence against individuals that simply wish to live with acceptance and safety. I struggle to hear the propaganda being spoke🗣 and not recognise that same conditioning in them, is the very conditioning within me👥, that wants to use my anger and wipe them out-

“But I’m a justice warrior and what they are is NOT okay!”

How do we recognise that those that benefit the most and perpetuate the wounds are still in pain? Because they too are conditioned to deny their full humanity. We know that perpetrators were often victims also. Pain perpetuates pain.

A juggernaut bigger than any individual has stripped us of our wholehearted humanity and told us what we ought to value. What was pushed out of our value set was - CARE.

Look at all industry that requires the loving qualities of CARE -undervalued, underpaid  often with a boa-constrictor of ‘policies’ squeezing out any capacity for human connection, leaving workers burnt out and recipients unmet in their deepest needs.

Caring about being Human will save us.

Caring about the FULL spectrum of being human. ALL the feelings. ALL the Feelings. All the feelings.

Take a moment ═

If CARE became the most VALUED asset we possess

- imagine the world we would live in.

This will connect us.

Here’s where we get to how overwhelming the radical act of being fully human and finding personal freedom outside the system we’ve been so heavy conditioned in can be.

How ?? do we value CARE-

Care requires a whole set of human qualities that require nurturing -

sensitivity,

empathy,

compassion,

vulnerability…

Qualities that help us feel and know how we feel. Being able to connect and accept all our own feelings as a natural part of being human, we can connect and empathise and therefore CARE for those around us. We’ve been told feelings are our weakness, that they are not of service to the capitalist cog machine, so therefore these are not the qualities that are greatly admired.

Rewriting, redefining what we centralise in our admirations and values will it change our world? Would Centralising CARE and embracing All of being human create a healthy culture and society?

Those that feel they CAN do something, -because I have the deepest of compassion to those that are most hurt, most traumatised, oppressed and marginalised

— these humans do the work out of necessity for survival, or they are simply surviving or they are not.

If the efforts were made by those with the MOST privilege, as a way to make their lives even better for themselves and everyone around them, then we could see the system as it is crumble.

When confronted by the current issues we face, i am trained to see where I am powerless, to move me in the direction of apathy.

I refuse, instead off the top of my head this is where I engage and I invite you-

+ therapy - we all need it.

+ Finding someone you feel safe with, to be your true self with (I truly hope you experience this) and if you can expand this to a few individuals life will be rich.

+ challenge yourself to be radically honest, with yourself and your safe person/s. Share the hard truth that feels uncomfortable, lean in- even if it’s “I feel numb, I don’t know how to connect” and ask to just be seen.

+ TRUST those around you that they don’t need rescuing, you are not their saviour

• But they do need to be seen in their humanity- if we can be human together we can mutually help&heal each other

+ Invest in Care and learn to VALUE those that offer care AND those that Invest in it

+ if you can’t afford therapy seek out resources— Brene Brown’s work is accessible, digestible and has much of what needs to be learnt to accept your fullest humanity.

Marshall Rosenburg- non-violent communication will offer you skills to communicate

+ Parenting + Reparenting - if you spend time/all your time with children, if you don’t already try - practice validating their experience not EVALUATE their experience- less GOOD/ BAD more observation of their experience and how it feels. Aware parenting/ Curious Parenting are fantastic places to find resources and learn how this helps meet their needs

Continued in comments

+ caring for self, try practice guilt rather than shame with characteristics you’re working on. Guilt allows you to see the action/behaviour that you want to improve on. Shame is when you see yourself as the behaviour- “I am shit” as opposed to “that was shitty behaviour”

What practices help you accept ALL that you are, when the world tells us we are not enough? What makes you feel FREE and POWERFUL, outside the systems of oppression?

If we can CARE for the full spectrum of human within ourselves, will we be able to CARE for the FULL spectrum of humans that live out there? Will we CARE for our home?